Aubrey Plaza is sharing what it has been like to navigate the unthinkable.
The White Lotus actress spoke candidly about grief during a recent appearance on her friend Amy Poehler’s Good Hang podcast, reflecting on the death of her husband, writer and director Jeff Baena, who died by suicide in January. He was 47.
Poehler, who starred alongside Plaza on Parks and Recreation for six seasons, opened the conversation gently, noting how fans have been eager to know how Plaza has been holding up. “On behalf of all the people who feel like they know you, and the people who do know you, how are you feeling today?” Poehler asked.
Plaza’s response was raw and grounded. “Right in this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you,” she said. But she admitted that the wider picture is much harder. “Overall, I’m here and I’m functioning. I feel really grateful to be moving through the world. I think I’m okay, but it’s like a daily struggle, obviously.”
She described grief not as something that passes but something that lingers and reshapes the way life feels. To capture the feeling, she leaned on an unlikely metaphor from the 2025 sci-fi film The Gorge. In the movie, characters are trapped between two cliffs with a canyon filled with monsters separating them. Plaza said watching it reminded her of grief. “At all times there’s like a giant ocean of awfulness, that’s like right there and I can see it. Sometimes I just want to dive into it, and just like be in it. Then sometimes I just look at it, and sometimes I try to get away from it. But, it’s always there.”
Poehler pointed out that Plaza’s dog, Frankie, has taken on a quiet role as a “therapy dog” through all of this. Plaza didn’t disagree. She noted how the small, daily sources of comfort — whether a pet, a close friend, or simply time spent outside — can feel like lifelines.
Plaza and Baena began dating in 2011, and for years kept their relationship mostly private. They surprised fans in 2021 when Plaza referred to Baena as her “darling husband” in an Instagram post, confirming they had quietly married. His sudden passing earlier this year was described by Plaza and Baena’s family in a statement as an “unimaginable tragedy.”
Nearly eight months later, Plaza is not pretending to have found answers or clarity. What she is offering instead is honesty — a reminder that grief is not something to be solved, but something to live alongside, day after day.
